Hebrews 12:11

I always said I wouldn't be that parent who didn't follow through on discipline. If I said I'd give a spanking I would or if I said I take a toy away I would. I would let me no mean no and my yes mean yes. I knew follow through and consistency were keys to successful discipline and I was going to be a successful discipliner. Somewhere along the way I fell off the track I was so sure I would follow so well. I started to let things slide. I started to let myself get talked out of things in an effort to avoid an extreme meltdown. Somewhere along the way I decided that keeping Jack happy was worth not following through on things. How did that happen? When did that happen? It wasn't a conscious decision. Paul and I didn't sit down one day and say hey I think we're doing too good a job let's ease up on the kid and avoid the tantrums. Yet here I am extremely frustrated by the behavior of my eldest. I'm frustrated because I know what a sweet, kind, funny kid he can be and I'm frustrated because I know his behavior is in part because of my behavior. He has learned that if he pitches a fit I'll try to please him to avoid it. He has learned that he doesn't get one chance but rather many, many chances. Not only this but he has watched me lose my temper with him and now he acts out in similar ways. I hate that I've taught him poorly in this department and I want to do better. So now it's time for me to step up and be the parent I always thought I would be. Sadly at this point correcting this behavior is going to be much more challenging than had we never encouraged it in the first place. Of course, I won't make any of these mistakes with the twins. Right? :-)

"All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness." Hebrews 12:11

This is my verse, my mantra right now. As I try to train my children in the way they should go but also as I continue to learn discipline myself.

Crazy House Stuff

We went back and looked at a house for the second time tonight. And we put in an offer! There are some weird things going on with the sale of our house in Palatine right now so our offer is contingent on that closing. We've had an offer on the Palatine home and we've accepted it. The inspection is done and we've agreed on that stuff. Pretty much everything is good to go with that sale except...apparently our association is suing a neighboring association regarding some drainage issues. Because it is a lawsuit we have to disclose this information to the seller which gives them an opportunity to back out of the deal. If they back out, then Paragon (the relocation company) sort of backs out too regarding their involvement with the house. Meaning they won't acquire our home from us and we are sort of left on our own for selling the house, they don't want to be involved. That would be incredibly unfortunate. If the buyer doesn't back out then we should be officially done dealing with the Palatine house very soon. So while we are excited about our potential new home we are nervously awaiting the buyers response to this issue (hopefully sooner rather than later). In our minds, if we were the buyer we would continue with the sale, but we aren't the buyer and you just never know.

Hailey's Garden

Here is one of the things I accomplished today. I promised Hailey I'd help decorate the walls of her new room and I finally did. We started working on the ideas months ago. I was a little nervous about how it would turn out, but I think it ended up being super cute. She looks like she sleeps in her own pretty little garden. Hailey helped every step of the way, from picking out colors and fonts to picking out the specific flowers and butterflies and even telling me how many of each she wanted. 

House Search

We're going to look at a house for the second time tonight. I'm very excited about this. I've actually been dreaming about it since we first saw it last weekend. Interesting thing is my dreams have been more like my mind working out all the details for me while I sleep. After seeing the house for the first time I knew I liked it but I had a few concerns. By the time I woke up in the morning I felt like I had sorta answered a lot of those questions in my sleep. Weird.
Tonight will be our second look and we're doing this to look more closely at a few things and get better pictures. Most likely nothing will turn up that will change our minds about the house and we might even put in an offer tonight! Paul has done lots and lots of thinking and praying about it. He's compared it to so many other houses and tried to talk himself out of it, just to see if he could. He is really so good at pouring through the details and really thinking everything through. I'm a bit more emotional about it and I feel good about the house. That's good enough, right? :) I guess you could say we make a good team. While I tend to get a little annoyed when Paul walks me through all his rationalizations and thought processes, I do appreciate that he is so thorough and that he is really doing everything he can to make sure we make the best choice for our family. But I already knew we'd want this house, cause it felt good when I walked through it the first time. :-)

Monday Pictures-Week 27

I'm quite late posting this seeing as it's Wednesday night and these pictures were taken on Tuesday but I'm calling them Monday pictures. The boys have really gotten into the jumparoo this past week and that's about all I can remember right now.

Busy but Thankful

Oh man, we are so busy tomorrow. I have totally booked us up. It will be a miracle if we get through the day without a hitch. Starting with tonight we have to get baths for everyone which is much easier said than done. We also are going to visit Paul's grandma for her 80th birthday. So funny as it sounds just going on a short outing, getting everyone fed and bathed makes tonight a very busy night. Then tomorrow Paul and I start house hunting bright and early. Our first appointment is at 8 am which means we have to get up and going right away in the morning to get babies fed and us ready before we need to leave. Thankfully mom is going to watch the kids for us (God bless her). I think we have at least 7 appointments between 8 and 10 after which we need to get right home so I can feed the babies and get out the door for their 6 month pictures at noon in Peoria. That in and of itself will be hectic. After pictures and lunch for everyone we have to get kids down for naps and head out for another round of appointments between 2 and 4. Thankfully after that we have no more plans except try to recover and reflect on the many homes we'll have seen. I'm just praying all the kids are on their best behavior tomorrow and in good moods and that we find some good options for our future home. Despite the craziness we are so excited and so thankful that we have made it to this phase of our move.

Monday Pictures-Week 26

It's amazing what a week can do. These boys are doing so well at sitting, Schaeffer especially. He can sit for a long time without tipping over. Logan is doing pretty well too but still get's a little tipsy. It would help if he wouldn't arch his back, but regardless he's doing really well. I managed to get our first pictures of the boys sitting together. Paul and I worked together to pull that off. I told them they have until Saturday to get sitting really figured out since that's when their 6 month pictures are. Crazy isn't it, that we are doing 6 month pictures? Other than the sitting not too much new for these guys. Though last night they did go 12 hours without nursing. And I'm pretty sure they slept most of those 12 hours. So that's cool. We'll see if that turns into the norm.

Several pictures later this happened.

I Miss Diapers

Can we go back to diapers now? Let's face it, diapers are so convenient. They of course have their downsides but right now I'd really like to put Jack back in diapers. He's actually doing really great during the day. That's not the problem. The problem is night! I have made no attempts to potty train Jack at night. I figure let's get the awake times worked out and down the road we can figure out the sleeping times. Jack apparently has different ideas. After we put him to bed...and I'm thinking before he falls asleep...he has been getting up 2 sometimes 3 times to use the potty. While it's good that he recognizes he has to go and it's good that he is actually going all of those times, not just pretending, it is also such a pain. Especially since he likes to play games and not sit on the potty right away and really try to stall. Many nights this has turned into a major battle and a tantrum from Jack. Often that's the end of things until the morning. However, last night Jack was up at least 3 times during the night asking for water and needing to pee. Just as it seems the babies might be sleeping better, Jack decides to pull this crap. Before potty training he NEVER got out of bed on his own. Bring back the diapers. I actually would put a diaper on Jack at night instead of a pull up, but he considers that punishment and gets hysterical because he's adamant that he said bye bye diapers.

Mommy's Mix-up

Friday night we went out to Avanti's for dinner with Kevin and Nicole. I decided that Jack was doing well enough with potty training to let him wear underwear to the restaurant, though I did put a pull up on over just in case. Jack did awesome. He didn't even need the pull up. We were sitting at dinner and Jack told me he had to go potty. I jumped up, grabbed him and whisked him off to the bathroom, unsure of his ability to hold it for very long. I was so singularly focused on getting him on a toilet before he peed that I didn't really pay much attention to what I was doing. We got in the stall and got him on the potty all without an accident! Then he really did go pee for the first time in a public restroom. I was so proud of him. While he was taking care of business someone came in and then left just shortly after. I didn't think much of it though I did recognize that we were in the only stall so they must not have needed the toilet. As we finished up and were leaving the stall a guy walked in and made some generic, kind comment to Jack, recognizing that he was probably new to the potty thing. The guy went in the stall while we went about washing hands. Still I thought nothing terribly strange about the situation. Even when I saw and recognized that there were urinals next to the stall, nothing struck me as odd. It wasn't until we were drying hands that it occurred to me that I had taken Jack to the men's bathroom! I guess it really didn't turn out to be too big of a deal but I'm sure we gave that man some funny dinner conversation.

Internal Analysis

I've sorta been struggling emotionally these days. Some people might say "no duh" with all we have going on but it's bothersome and trying to figure out the problem is not always easy. It's one of those "What's wrong?" questions with a "I don't know." answer. But I've been really trying to figure it out and I think my real answer is quite multifaceted. 1-My relationship with God is not as strong as it ought to be. 2-My life is once again on the cusp of major change with an offer on our house and the search for a new house. And of course an offer isn't the end all, so I'm terribly concerned that something will happen and this whole deal will fall apart. I'm also terribly nervous about buying a new house and making wise decisions about a home we hope to be in for many years to come. I'm also nervous about the idea of moving out of my parents. As much as it will be nice to get settled again, I will really miss seeing them every day. And I will really miss the help they've given us with the kids. Just how much they help has been quite obvious the last week and a half. So it seems I have a lot of stress tied up in my living situation. 3-I'm trying to meet new people. This is the goofy one. I get terribly stressed out when I'm first getting to know someone new. My main concern is what might they think of me. Will they see all my faults and think I'm a nut job and stay away? It's so hard to be vulnerable when I'm so concerned with being rejected. Now it sounds like I'm trying to start dating someone. No worries there, Paul's the only man for me! I know I had some of these same fears when I was making new friends in Palatine and that all turned out fine. I made some very dear and wonderful friends (whom I miss greatly!). And what happened then (same as what I'm doing now) is assuming the other person has things totally figured out, assuming that they are put together rarely taking a misstep while I myself feel like a walking disaster. What I think I've learned is that to some degree we all think we are walking disasters while most everyone else thinks we have everything together! Whew. 4-My kids are stressing me out. The babies seem unusually fussy and unhappy. Nursing is causing some severe pain right now and Jack is having what seems like a daily meltdown which I haven't been handling the best. That was probably not something you wanted to read, but it was a bit therapeutic for me to write it down. Perhaps I shouldn't publish this post, but I probably will.

Ugly Overflow

Something I heard in church on Sunday has really stuck in my head this week. And after a somewhat challenging day and several challenging evenings I think I need to take heed. Pastor said something along the lines of if there is something you are struggling with don't put all your focus and attention on fixing that problem, rather put your focus on God and strengthening your relationship with him. I have no idea if that's what was actually said or meant, but that's what I heard. So instead of trying really hard not to yell at my kids any more, or instead of trying really hard to be more patient, if I instead work on my relationship with my Lord in turn I won't struggle so much with those things. Something like out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. It seems like what I need is some quality time in the Word if I have any hope of becoming a better mom.

Monday Pictures-Week 25

Not too much new to share. I managed to get a picture of Logan sitting but not because he really sits very much. They both still need practice in the department. And this week I captured Schaeffer doing what he's been doing best lately, getting into things he shouldn't be. This whole being able to move thing is going to get him in trouble. He loves the trains, my camera and especially my computer. It's really funny when he sees something he wants. His whole expression gives him away. And once he's spotted something he doesn't waste much time getting to it. Even if I take it away he'll chase after it again wherever I put it.

Potty Training

Potty training...ugh. I am not a fan. So many messes, such slow progress, so many questions and variables. With every accident my frustration grows as do my questions about my competency as a parent. Should the two be related...probably not. But last night after our first day of potty training with no success and no sign of being close to success I was convinced that motherhood was not for me. Perhaps it's a bit too late to be making such decisions! Obviously my ability to be rational has been compromised somewhere along the way (Paul could have told you that years ago). But this post is not all about my frustrations and mental state. Because today was a new day.
We started off today similar to yesterday. Sitting on the potty to know avail, wearing undies and peeing all over. After the third accident (two of them while I was in the middle of nursing!) we took of the wet undies and didn't put any back on. Finally, he didn't insist that he needed undies and allowed himself to run around half naked. After a while as I was getting ready to change Logan's stinky diaper I noticed he was just starting to pee. I plopped Logan down and grabbed Jack while I told him he was peeing and needed to sit on the potty. I grabbed him and sat him down which prompted a major fit. His butt cheeks barely hit the seat when he was already up again tearing down the hall with his dump truck leaving a trickle of a pee trail through the kitchen. I followed that and found him in the bathroom with a big puddle at his feet. As soon as I got there he left again and went back to his little potty in the living room where he promptly sat down peed some more! I nearly missed it because I figured he has just had an accident and had gone to finish with Logan's poopy diaper. But sure enough he finally peed in the potty at least a little! Perhaps this is a sign of things to come, though I'm sure there will be many, many more accidents.

Monday Pictures-Week 24

Oh these boys. They just keep getting older and changing all the time. I swear the last week was more like a few months with all  that went on. We took a day trip to St. Louis, made our first (past due) visit to the Bomer household, celebrated Kyle's birthday (and Kevin's), rang in the New Year, and enjoyed a lot of time with Daddy and Grandma and Papa. Along with all the activity of the week the boys also kept us on our toes. Their schedule is changing and I've been trying desperately to figure things out like why nursing is suddenly so difficult and how many times a day should they really be eating. Transition times are not fun and I'm quite sure we are in the midst of a transition to a 3.5-4 hour schedule as compared to the 3 hour schedule we'd grown quite accustomed to. Thankfully this week Logan has been sleeping better and I'm happy to say I haven't slept on the couch with him in more than a week. He occasionally needs a hand on his back in the middle of the night and a pacifier to help him fall back asleep, but he's making progress. In fact that pacifier thing is kinda new. Neither boys was using one but all of a sudden Logan seems to like his. Also new is that Schaeffer is scooting or army crawling. He can get pretty much anywhere or anything he wants. There are times he seems so close to officially crawling. Schaeffer also growls. I don't think this was new as of this week, but it's still pretty new. Perhaps it's because Jack growls at him so often. Both boys have also started actually jumping in the jump-a-roo. Sometimes Logan really gets going and it scares him. Logan hasn't really shown signs of mobility like Schaeffer. But I figure it won't be long before he realizes his brother can move and he can't. Schaeffer has also started being able to sit for seconds at a time. Perhaps some of their new toys will encourage them to sit more. We shall see.

 Schaeffer sitting and after enjoying a bowl of applesauce and oatmeal. Below: Logan after his applesauce and oatmeal.

Logan sucking on Schaeffer's toes. Makes me laugh.

Who Knew

The boys received a Caterpillar train set from their Papa for Christmas. Jack has been asking to open it up and finally Paul did yesterday afternoon while Jack was napping. He got it all set up for him and figured it would provide some good entertainment for a while in the evening. What we did not expect was almost three solid hours of  "playing" with the train. Mainly he just sat or laid in the middle and watched it go around and around and around. He liked turning it on an off, though Paul had to do the off because Jack didn't like doing the switch while the train was moving. He also didn't like it when the train went in reverse, so he had to quickly learn which way to flip the switch for forward. Sometimes he would take a tractor off and play with it, but mainly he just watched it go around. I calculated and the train probably made close to a thousand circles last night. And Jack watched almost every one of them. Who knew? And of course this morning the first thing he did was run down stairs and turn the train on. He's been up for nearly 3 hours and the train is still running and we are still sitting here watching it.

Year in Review

I don't always do the whole year in review, looking back, see how far I've come thing. But I feel as though this year warrants such a walk down memory lane. Last year on this day I was in Nashville with my entire family eating dinner at Aquarium Restaurant, having a lovely evening but perhaps wishing we were on our missed cruise enjoying New Years Eve. This year I am sitting in my parents living room eating brownie batter and watching television, fully intending on going to bed before midnight. Last year at Christmas we gave my parents a card telling them that we were pregnant with twins and jokingly saying they would have to move to Palatine to help us out or we would have to move in with them. Funny how life works out sometimes. One of the major changes in our lives this year, and there were a few, was moving in with my parents. But let's start with the beginning of last year. Our major project going into the year was to go through our house and clear out and reorganize all in an effort to make room for two more babies. We worked really hard and had this pretty much accomplished by springtime. I spent the months before the twins birth feeling huge and exhausted and relying on my friends to help me out a lot. I also spent a lot of time at the Y sleeping in the women's locker room. I actually was in a spin class for a while and walked on a treadmill until it was just too tiring. After that I just used my two hours of free childcare to let Jack have some good play time and me get a good nap. Then July came and one of our biggest life changes happened. We gave birth to twin boys. Right at that time we were also in the process of getting our house ready to go on the market. Paul had interviewed at Caterpillar and received an offer earlier in the summer. So the week my mom spent with us after the babies were born she helped us pack up lots of boxes for storage and helped us take care of three children. It was a crazy time and I'm so thankful for all the help, love and support we received from our family and our friends. In August we moved in with my parents for what we were hoping would be only a couple months while we waited for our house to sell. A couple months has turned into more than we had hoped for as the market is not so conducive to selling a home right now. Thankfully, my parents have been more than gracious and generous to us and life back in their house is going smoothly. I know it will be hard when it comes time to move out again. As much as we love being around my parents and love the extra help, we would also love to be in our own space again and really settle in to life in Morton. Also this year we welcomed our third nephew, George, who's only 2 months younger than the twins and already bigger. The coming years promise lots of exciting times and adventure for our boys and their cousins (including another one due this spring). So that was our year. I'm hoping 2011 isn't so crazy and has fewer major life changes. However crazy 2010 was, I am thankful that our God was with us. He calmed our fears and anxiety about being pregnant with twins. He allowed a long, healthy pregnancy and a smooth delivery. He watched over Paul in all his travels and provided friends for Jack during those months when his mommy couldn't be everything he needed. He aligned all of the many details for Paul to accept a new job at Caterpillar. He's provided us with everything we've needed through the incredible generosity of our family and friends. And we continue to trust that now, during this time of waiting, he is arranging all the details for our next step.